Two weeks ago I talked about the opposite of willpower, which I called
"other power" Essentially I was looking for those things "outside ourselves" that could help in tackling problem habits which most of us don't want to continue in our day to day lives.
What is it we all mean when we talking about having "willpower"?
It's one of those funny things, we all have an idea of what willpower means to ourselves personally, but I was struggling to come up with a decent definition.
This being the internet I goggled willpower and let the democracy of internet search give me the definition (thanks Wikipedia - interestingly there isn't a page on willpower just links to other pages)
· Self-discipline, training and
control of oneself and one's conduct, usually for personal improvement
· Self-control, the ability of a
person to exert his/her will over the inhibitions of their body or self
So something about training the mind and the ability to exert control over your own body / self. This is really interesting because I often hear people talking about how they "have no willpower". We often don't think that willpower is something we can train - like a muscle - but surely it must change throughout our lives - so there must be a way for us to change it for the better - to be more focused on what we want.
The second part interesting part of willpower that is the idea of control. Surely the only thing that we have control over in our lives are our choices. But I find myself deciding to do one thing one day, but the following morning deciding that the exact opposite of what I want...
It's like there are many different "me's” all deciding different things at different times. Usually it's whatever is easiest or what will give me a little bit of comfort at that particular point.
Thinking about willpower in this way - is a bit more fun than thinking "I'm weak" or "I just can't do it" - but as a little argument within me, where different “me's” want different things.
The GetFit.com willpower training method
Based on this, the psychology team at getfit.com have developed a fun little training technique based on "self-talk". Self-talk is the way we talk to ourselves about what we are doing. But with this training method you are going to name the different "you's" that are talking when there is a situation that you feel Willpower is required.
We've all seen the cartoons with Donald Duck with an angel duck on one shoulder, and the devil duck on the other. I don't think that this is a helpful way of viewing the different "you’s" that you might appear when making a decision, but it gives you an idea of what I mean... Remember that both "you's" will be looking to make your life better, just going about it in different ways.
1. When a challenging situation arises - recognise it
- After all if you just react on instinct you won't be thinking at all
2. Stop and take some time to be aware of your thoughts and feelings
- This is where you can recognise the different "you's" who want different things
3. Give a little description to the different "you's" that are present
- This one is tired and wants a treat, this one is thinking about fitting into jeans.....
4. Act as a judge as to what type of "you" each would result in
- This first one will only look after my short term needs, this second one is thinking for the long term
5. Make a decision based on what you want to be in the future
- I'd rather be able to fit into jeans than have a treat just now
6. Just do it - no more thinking - you've made the decision, move on.
- Don't get caught up in guilt or brow-beating, you've made a decision - accept it and whatever goes along with it.
Remember that there is always some trial and error with learning anything new. Willpower is just you being clear with yourself about what you want and that there are some costs associated with getting what you want.
Of course willpower is not the entire picture, for the next few weeks we'll be tackling how to establish healthy habits - so willpower can take a back seat!.
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